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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?